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One of my favorite things to do that I rarely ever did before suffering with a mental illness, is pamper myself. When you find the right activity for your own self development based on your personality, these self care activities can benefit you in many ways. The goal is to take the time to to de-stress and unhinge your mind from thoughts that bring feelings of anxiety or depression. If you can do that, while also deepening your self awareness then it’s a huge bonus. Continue reading
“For every tear I have shed in pain, in fear, in grief; every tear in frustration, and guilt, I will shed 1000 times more in JOY….”
I can feel his heart beating against mine. I feel the rise and the fall of his chest as his breaths mirror my own. I can see his tiny feet poking out from beneath his blanket. His body is completely relaxed and at nearly four years old, his 28 pounds feels heavy against me. Continue reading
Life is what you make of it. Some days, it just takes more strength to smile, more patience, more determination, faith, gratitude, more grace to let my light shine through all of the pain. Those are the good days. And then, there are those days, stretched so thin, I can’t escape it.
Everywhere I turn, a family grows, a baby walks, a blessing is snuffed out. What sadness and great loss that can be forever etched in someone’s soul at the hands of someone else. How one traumatic moment can steal
In 2014 I opened this blog to help me through the challenges I faced mentally, as I coped with the changes recently after our youngest son was born. We had no idea until he was born, that he would be so sick. A piece of me died that day and many, many more pieces in the days and months that followed. You can read about his diagnosis here.
Lost, alone, and broken, I feel deeper and deeper into a “pit of Hell.” The darkness took over the light that once was so bright inside of me.
Gone were the dreams I’d once held; the vision of the life I’d worked so hard to build was destroyed. What was I to do now?
I struggled severely with depression, anxiety, guilt, shame and grief that nearly cost me everything.
Today, equipped with so many more lessons and more knowledge and more wine… I hated to delete what started it all. I didn’t continue the blog past a few posts, but it was the start for me personally that had shaped who I am today.
The dreams and passions stored within hearts are powerful keys which can unlock a wealth of potential. – John C. Maxwell
If you are struggling with grief or depression, know that you are not alone. There is joy left in this world for you and you are capable of finding it again.
While my faith seems to settle me more for the long term,
I’m looking for something to hold on to today,
because when the sun sets, and the noises of the day are gone, that is when
I have struggled so much accepting what my children mean to each other since my youngest son was born. Kolt’s needs and circumstances most often take the forefront, always causing Kash to have to wait.
I so often feel like so many of Kash’s experiences are stolen by Kolt’s needs. Truth be told, I feel like Kolt’s needs have stolen nearly everything. Dreams, relationships, time, experiences, freedoms….the list goes on, but that’s another story. Being such a young child, it’s understandably difficult for Kash to constantly
Now that that official business had been stated, it’s time to be totally transparent. My life is a beautiful mess….well, sometimes. I like to think of it as organized chaos.
My youngest son was born with CHARGE Syndrome Continue reading