A Special Perspective on Halloween

What are these weird itchy clothes? I thought we were riding….Why am I being carried up to all these doors. Why am being asked to hold this bucket. I don’t know that person. Why are they touching me. Nope. Don’t touch me. Why am I being put in Continue reading

Not So Special Halloween

Spooky Pumpkins
Happy Halloween

Growing up, Halloween was a decently big deal. Mainly just for the night though. I remember Halloween cookies or carving pumpkins. That’s not to say we didn’t do it, I just didn’t manage to archive those memories very well I guess. I remember the uproar caused by deciding what to be for Halloween Continue reading

I Dream of Brothers

IG Brother Quote
I have struggled so much accepting what my children mean to each other since my youngest son was born.  Kolt’s needs and circumstances most often take the forefront, always causing Kash to have to wait.
I so often feel like so many of Kash’s experiences are stolen by Kolt’s needs. Truth be told, I feel like Kolt’s needs have stolen nearly everything. Dreams, relationships, time, experiences, freedoms….the list goes on, but that’s another story. Being such a young child, it’s understandably difficult for Kash to constantly

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Changing the Menu

Kitchen counter and dishwasher with milk spilling down onto the floor
I cry over spilled milk in this house

My youngest son, born with CHARGE Syndrome, received his feeding tube once he was stable enough to endure the surgery at just 6 weeks of age. From that day forward, it’s been a battle. That not to say that we wouldn’t have had our battles otherwise, but it has just been a never ending, get-on-my-nerves, drive-me-crazy, issue. Continue reading

How I’m Being Molded Through Grief


Now that that official business had been stated, it’s time to be totally transparent. My life is a beautiful mess….well, sometimes.  I like to think of it as organized chaos.

My youngest son was born with CHARGE Syndrome Continue reading

The Kind of Mother He Needed


You gave rise to a love I didnt know existed. Real love. True love. A pure love. A love that has no expectations. A love that sustains, even if it is not reciprocal. A love that is neither biased because of what you have to offer, nor prejudice for what you are incapable of sharing. A love that is absolute. A love that has no regard for cajolery. A love that is unwavering. Continue reading